By J.K.
Having a Bipolar Spouse is not an uncommon instance in married people’s lives. Although a bipolar disorder may in ways affect the relationship, it can still be handled by strong couples. This disease can prove how couples love and understand each other because of the challenges it offers from the moment of its detection.
If you found out that you have a bipolar spouse, ask what things you should do to help him or her deal with it. Following are the “don’ts” (because the don’ts may be more important to consider as most partners react negatively upon receiving this diagnosis) in handling this kind of situation:
• Do not judge them. Remember that this disease is a chemical imbalance which is out of their control. It is as if they are diagnosed with other biochemical diseases, such as diabetes. They do not need your opinion toward this disorder, they need your support.
• Do not have pity for your situation. Your spouse may already be feeling guilty because of his/her burden to you. You would not want to add up to that depression as it might be dangerous for his/her condition.
• Do not force them what option of recovery to choose. Discuss the matter with them, but allow them to make the decision. Giving ultimatums or orders would only increase their stress level, and take note that they cannot control chemical imbalances in their system.
• Do not let yourself be the boss to handle the situation. Although you may know what is good for them, you should not start to take away or hide things from them. It will only make them feel alienated and controlled, increasing their levels of depression and desperation. It is best to consult a professional counselor about this to inform you of proper techniques. It would be better to ask your bipolar spouse to go with you, but if s/he would not, you can go alone anyway.
• Do not be over protective. Do not handle their disorder for them because it will just wear you out. Let them be responsible for their own sickness, but you need to be there to support them.
• Do not pretend to understand their situation because you do not. People having mood disorders are often extra sensitive to attitudes and reactions of other people so be completely honest with them. Tell them you do not know how they feel, but you are ready to help any way you can.
Following the reminders above will greatly help in handling this situation. You just need passion, sincerity, and understanding toward your partner so you can go through life with a bipolar spouse.
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