Helping a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder


Dealing with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder can be difficult—and not just for the person with the illness. The moods and behaviors of a person with bipolar disorder affect everyone around—especially family members and close friends. During a manic episode, they must cope with reckless antics, outrageous demands, explosive outbursts, and irresponsible decisions. And once the whirlwind of mania has passed, it often falls on them to deal with the consequences. During episodes of depression, they may have to pick up the slack for a loved one who doesn’t have the energy to meet responsibilities at home or work.

In addition to traditional medical treatment by qualified medical professionals (which has no substitutes), we also tried some other “natural” ways of managing ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder Symptoms. Book Conquer Stress, Depression & Anxiety was really helpful in maintaining “normal” mood levels.

Probably the best solution to stop anxiety, panic attacks and phobias is Linden Method. We strongly recommend you to try it. It’s a comprehensive and natural method to deal with many symptoms that accompany Bipolar Disorder.

The good news is that most people with bipolar disorder can stabilize their moods with proper treatment, medication, and support—so if your friend or family member has bipolar disorder, take hope. Furthermore, you can play a significant
role in his or her recovery.

Here are some ways you can help a person with bipolar disorder:

• Learn about bipolar disorder. Educate yourself about bipolar disorder. Learn everything you can about the symptoms and treatment options. The more you know about bipolar disorder, the better equipped you’ll be to help your loved one and keep things in perspective.
• Encourage the person to get help. The sooner bipolar disorder is treated, the better the prognosis, so urge your friend or family member to seek professional help right away. Don’t wait to see if the person will get better without treatment.
• Be understanding. Let your friend or family member know that you’re there if he or she needs a sympathetic ear, encouragement, or assistance with treatment. Remind the person that you care and that you’ll do
  whatever you can to help.
• Be patient. Getting better takes time, even when a person is committed to treatment. Don’t expect a quick recovery or a permanent cure. Be patient with the pace of recovery and prepare for setbacks and challenges.
  Managing bipolar disorder is a lifelong process.

I wish you and loved ones health, happiness and success in overcoming Bipolar Symptoms. Please scroll down to next posts to read more….

What can I do specifically to help myself keep it out of my mind and get on with my own life? I can’t let this drown me.
By the way this is a solid break- I’ve definately done all I can do (and then some) and he pushes away anyone who tries to tell him he needs help. He’s at the point where he blames everyone else for his problems, thinks he’s fine, and wants no one in his life anymore.
"April": Please see the part where I said that he refused to admit there was a problem, refused to help himself, and that I had already tried everything I can do and then some. If someone won’t help themselves, is there not some point where I should draw the line? Should I spend my entire life with someone who brings me down into my own depression, put me into debt, and has taken every ounce of my energy, yet refuses to help themself? Should I allow for two lives to be ruined because one can’t see reason? I have been unconditionally supportive and have gotten treated like crap because he doesn’t want to believe he’s ill. If you read my other questions/posts you’ll see that I’m the last person to walk away from someone in this situation.

This is such a difficult predicament. I understand that your spouse is out of control in too many emotional ways and because he isn’t able or willing to seek proper help and treatment, your life has become a mess, too.

I think you should ask yourself if you have done everything to help him out, everything that you are capable of doing. Because if you have, then I think you should feel okay walking away. While we don’t want to be selfish, it’s true that people need to put themselves first sometimes.

For instance- your spouse may not realize it, but he needs to put himself first, too. Maybe he already does. Maybe he thinks he does. And maybe he is so self-absorbed with mania, anger and depression that he just isn’t able to see what to do to make a positive change.

If you think you’ve been holding back for some reason, that maybe you could do something more to help him out, you might want to try that first. Exhaust all your options- he is your husband and I’m sure you love him.

But certainly leave if you are in any danger from him, even if not physical danger. Rather you might be pulled under and unwillingly become depressed yourself, just by being around his negativity too much.

This is really a tough situation. You might want to see if such a thing as a psychiatrist/marriage councilor exists, someone you can both talk with about how things are going and that you are thinking of leaving.

Bottom line, if you need to leave for your own health, then you should just go make your life better. You can keep tabs on him, but he may make more progress if he sees he’s losing you than if you talk all the time and try to help him through.

Any advice on how to convince him to try switching meds so both the depression and mania can be managed?

Please no "leave him" comments… I have already decided not to do that, he needs my support right now more than ever.

Remind him that medication takes TIME to get used to…normally 2 to 3 weeks. Then to stay on the medication long enough to make sure it’s working…(or the side effects might be worse than the original problem) It takes time to find the right ‘cocktail’ of medication to keep him balanced. Around 80% of Bi-polars can be helped successfully by using only Lithium. keep trying (without nagging) to get him to see ; his life will improve when he finds the right medication. Allot of people are in denial about the mania…cause it’s a state where things are ‘sped-up’ and some people get allot done when on that side. And some experience a kind of euphoria. It’s the grandiose thinking that is most unhealthy.
As far as the ‘leaving him’ …I personally think it’s gr8 you care enough and are insightful enough to see ; there IS hope. Good for you. (as long as he remains non-violent, things can work out.)And Bi-polars are rarely good judges of their own ‘issues’ – Like being ‘too deep in the forest to see the trees’

We continously fought, after us being fed up, we split. we are living apart now but did get back together.

Times are really tough, with the pregnancy, him not being there all the time. I love him dearly and its breaking my heart.

How do i deal with my bipolar fiancee, im so sick of arguments, just as we get it right one wrong word messes things up again?

I want our child to grow up in a healthy loving family.

Please help.

Get him back on meds as quickly as possible.

Research possible state or federal programs that can help. Ask a local physician for free samples of anti-depressants (I had a psychiatrist give me free samples for several weeks, until I could afford them on my own). Steal them if you have to — bipolar disorder can kill.

I have dine all I could to help her…even spent 18 gran on rehab,.,,,she came back worse. I know its a real illness but to me just hard to understand

Your a prick, it’s an illness your wife has, she can’t help it. Would you leave her if she had cancer too a**hole?

Why would you even go ahead and say IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH?

But he refuses to take his medication, is violent, both verbally and physically, (well, was, ever since I pressed charges on him of uttering threats and assault, we haven’t had contact except through our lawyer). I have made sure our year old child is never left, for the time being, alone with him because he simply cannot control himself, sadly.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I am understanding of his situation, but he takes his medication for 2 weeks, then stops saying he’s all cured, doesn’t have any problem, and then starts being violent, mean, and making crazy plans, using money in unnecessary ways….

I want my child to have a relationship with his father, but it’s hard!!!!
Yeah… It is kind of hard. I’m trying to do what’s best for my son and everything…

I am still not divorced yet, but the soon to be signed custody agreement does say he have to undergo anger management therapy in order to eventually be able to be alone with our child.

Some people say I’m being unfair, vindictive… I’m just trying to ensure my son doesn’t go through what I have with his father, and I’m trying to be the better person and letting his father be part of his life… had we gone to court (the agreement was reached amicably) , with everything I do have on him, he would had gotten way less then what I offered (when it comes to visitations, etc).
He has been hospitalized for this several times in the past years for this. Yet blamed either me, his dad, or anyone else for his state of mind.

And he is not allowed alone with our son, his visitation rights are really limited, and it has to be supervised by someone else, who has to be in the room at all times.

I’m wondering how, in the next few years, I’ll be able to help my child cope with my EX… it’s not going to be easy! poor thing..

This is a touchy situation. Your first priority is to your child. Do NOT allow him to be alone with your child without a second party witnessing his actions. He may not like it, but if he wanted to see the baby, he would have to have supervised visits until he was taking his medication EVERY DAY. Since you have custody of the baby, you can stipulate this with your lawyer about the situation and how you fear for your child’s safety when in his company.
The lawyer can draw up a petition stating what you’ve said and get it verified by the judge.
If he refused to be supervised by a third party, then the visitation would be revoked until he could prove he has been on his medication for his condition.
I sympathize with you big time b/c bipolar is a condition that is so volatile that there is no telling when the person will be blindsided by an attack or fit of rage and the baby doesn’t need to be around him when it happens.
Just make sure you make the baby a priority on this one. Even if your soon-to-be ex isn’t a part of the baby’s life b/c of his selfish behavior in not taking his medication, it will be his fault for not having a relationship.

Having a Bipolar Spouse is not an uncommon instance in married people’s lives. Although a bipolar disorder may in ways affect the relationship, it can still be handled by strong couples. This disease can prove how couples love and understand each other because of the challenges it offers from the moment of its detection.

If you found out that you have a bipolar spouse, ask what things you should do to help him or her deal with it. Following are the “don’ts” (because the don’ts may be more important to consider as most partners react negatively upon receiving this diagnosis) in handling this kind of situation:

•    Do not judge them. Remember that this disease is a chemical imbalance which is out of their control. It is as if they are diagnosed with other biochemical diseases, such as diabetes. They do not need your opinion toward this disorder, they need your support.
•    Do not have pity for your situation. Your spouse may already be feeling guilty because of his/her burden to you. You would not want to add up to that depression as it might be dangerous for his/her condition.
•    Do not force them what option of recovery to choose. Discuss the matter with them, but allow them to make the decision. Giving ultimatums or orders would only increase their stress level, and take note that they cannot control chemical imbalances in their system.
•    Do not let yourself be the boss to handle the situation. Although you may know what is good for them, you should not start to take away or hide things from them. It will only make them feel alienated and controlled, increasing their levels of depression and desperation. It is best to consult a professional counselor about this to inform you of proper techniques. It would be better to ask your bipolar spouse to go with you, but if s/he would not, you can go alone anyway.
•    Do not be over protective. Do not handle their disorder for them because it will just wear you out. Let them be responsible for their own sickness, but you need to be there to support them.
•    Do not pretend to understand their situation because you do not. People having mood disorders are often extra sensitive to attitudes and reactions of other people so be completely honest with them. Tell them you do not know how they feel, but you are ready to help any way you can.

Following the reminders above will greatly help in handling this situation. You just need passion, sincerity, and understanding toward your partner so you can go through life with a bipolar spouse.

emotionally abusive; then apologizes the next day and promises to change, only to do it again; punches walls; breaks things; throws things.

big dreamer; thinks she can do anything; but now is in a depressed state for about 2 years b/c of failure at work; used to be a huge success; able to inspire tons of people; i got caught up in the enthusiasm and zest for life; wish her parents had been more involved when she was a teen; one was in another state and one was an alcoholic.

a perfectionist–can’t stand to be wrong; very critical of herself and others; very smart; easily swept away; gets her feelings hurt easily. instant gratification: always buying things, even though i tell her that we don’t have the money; was fired b/c of a drunken episode at a work party

it’s been the worst 2 years of my life; finally got her on some meds; don’t think i’ll be sticking around much longer; b/c it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
what’s your story?